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Ikaw ang puso ko dahil sayo
Dumadaloy ang dugo
Ikaw ang puso ko dahil sayo
Dumadaloy ang dugo

Ikaw ang puso ko dahil sayo
Dumadanak ng dugo
Ikaw ang puso ko dahil sayo
Dumadanak ng dugo

Sa madaling salita (tuwing ika’y nawawala)
Sa madaling salita (ako’y nawawala)

At sa saliw ng isa’t-isa
Tayong dalawa’y dakila
At sa saliw ng isa’t-isa
Tayong dalawa’y alila

How come I don’t blog anymore?

La la la la la…
La la…

Naranasan mo na ba
Mawalan ng makakasama?
Sa gitna ng daan
Hindi malaman ang pupuntahan

Huwag mag-alala
Hindi kita pababayaan
Sa iyong tabi
Ako ay iyong mahahawakan

Naranasan mo na ba
Madapa at masugatan?
Hawakan mo ako
Hinding-hindi iiwan

I don’t know why but I think it’s happening again. It took months to learn from all the mistakes, accept all the consequences and start anew. Who would’ve thought it caught me off guard? Again.

Complicated decisions lead to chaos. Though they know how complication complicated is, they still go through with it.

I feel like I’m asleep and awake at the same time. I feel impossible. I feel helpless. I feel lost. I feel like giving in but I wouldn’t. Not now.

I’m floating again.

A new, clean theme. Thanks to Wordpress Themes Base.

I’ve been busy for the past few weeks. It’s really hard catching up with tons of stuff at work. Lots to learn, so much to do. But I’m still hanging on. Hopefully this very awkward and stressful part of the adjustment phase would end soon. I still have two months to go before my evaluation so wish me luck.

The whole Kris Allen over Danny Gokey thing being the new American Idol also contributes to the heavy feeling I’m having.

On other news, I’ve started drinking again since my very traumatic experience a few months ago. I’m very surprised to find out that my face starts to get hot after just one bottle of beer. I had tasted the ice cold San Mig Light below zero last week with my room mates. That was the best beer I had since I don’t know when. I know there are several restaurants serving these beers around Metro Manila but I had mine in Grilla in Kalayaan.

I am guessing this week at work would be as hell as the past weeks. I’ll try watching Star Trek and Angels & Demons, that is, if they’re still showing so I can have something to look forward to.

Things are really not as bad as they seem. How’s that for positivity.

Danny Gokey’s out of American Idol Season 8. He’s the one I’ve been watching all season and now that he’s out, I sorta don’t care who would win between Adam Lambert and Kris Allen.

I had my bets at the very start of the season. I was blown away (parang judge a) by Leneshe Young and her song composition. Her audition stood out among all others for me. I was sad when she didn’t make it through the Hollywood week. There was also Emily Wynne Hughes, the girl who sang Barracuda. She was one of the many victims of group day. In the top 36 weeks, I was hoping Jesse Langseth would make it to top 12. I was wondering why the judges preferred Tatiana over her.

In the top 13, my bets were Lil Rounds and Danny Gokey. Their stories were very interesting and my imagination says they would become even more interesting when they win the competition. After watching Lil Rounds pick the wrong songs (as per the judges), Danny Gokey’s my bet for American Idol that can beat Adam Lambert. He has different ways of making the songs colorful using different tones whereas the original song only has a few. One of the songs he sang was What Hurts The Most. I haven’t heard the original, but loved his version anyway. It reminds me of his wife’s story.

So now he’s out of the competition, I don’t know who I should pick between Adam and Kris. But I guess whoever wins this, they all would have an exciting career ahead of them, including Matt and Lil and some of the top 13 contestants.

Last week..

Monday. Too frustrated to work. Was given a simple task since last week and got stuck with an unknown configuration problem blar blar blar Java Spring blah blah. Still not talking in my seat.

Tuesday. Still stuck with the same task. Hoping my superior would not be too impatient. Still shy to ask questions. Had a team meeting which made me talk to the team. This is a good start.

Wednesday. STILL stuck with the task. Still scared to ask questions. Still want to try resolve the bug myself before asking. Self deadline is Thursday before asking for help.

Thursday. Was given a new task with the old task still at hand. Worried that I might not be able to deliver since this was the last day of the week. Asked a team mate to help me with the new task and was able to finish it in two hours. Asked him to help me identify the problem with what the original task that I’m doing particularly the meaning of the error message I keep on getting in my console. Problem solved! Happy! Asked kumares to go out and celebrate and we did. Awesome night.

Friday. Holiday! My brother’s birthday! Fiesta meal at a friend’s house. Got all blushed up after just one glass of Red Horse beer. Videoke with two of my favorite friends. Happy.

Saturday. Watched Yes Man, Taken, Kung Fu Panda The Secrets Of The Furious Five, Wall E, Knowing and The Holiday at home. Happy.

Sunday. Bought new DVDs. Went home far, far away. Started watching America’s Best Dance Crew Season 2. Pacquiao’s amazing!

I hope this week’s gonna be great. My spirit’s up. Go go go!

If I were to pick my favorite day of the week, it would definitely be Friday. I love Friday nights because I get to go home and the thought of having two more free days will be stuck in my head before I go to sleep. Saturday and Sunday for me are my panic days.

My first week at work had been both great and blar blar (I use blar blar when I can’t describe what I feel). I hope everything will turn out from blar blar to okay in no time.

An hour ago, I was anxious and panicky just thinking about being in the office after tomorrow. I feel like I’m running out of time. Good thing I started drinking beer with my boyfriend an hour ago. Really helped me calm down and think everything through.

On other news, I’m recently hooked with American Idol 8. Only five weeks left before the show ends. I’m hoping Danny Gokey would win over Adam Lambert.

My to do’s for next week :

• Learn Spring MVC
• Fix my closet in the apartment (looks like garbage at the moment)
• Download Paramore’s Final Riot
• Start using my Nikon D40 again
• Start using my Holga 120 CFN again
• Start blogging about life, not just opinions

And I realized I’m starting to miss the bum life now.

For some reason, I’m loving this song.

I’m not the sort of person who falls in and quickly out of love
But to you, I give my affection, right from the start.
I have a lover who loves me - how could I break such a heart?
Yet still you get my attention.

Why do you come here, when you know I’ve got troubles enough?
Why do you call me, when you know I can’t answer the phone?
And make me lie when I don’t want to,
And make someone else some kind of an unknowing fool?
You make me stay when I should not?
Are you so strong or is all the weakness in me?
Why do you come here, and pretend to be just passing by?
I need to see you - I need to hold you - tightly.

Feeling guilty,
Worried, Waking from a tormented sleep
This old love, you know it has me bound,
But the new love cuts so deep.
If I choose now, I’ll lose out;
One of you has to fall…
I need you, and you.

Why do you come here, when you know I’ve got troubles enough?
Why do you call me, when you know I can’t answer the phone?
And make me lie when I don’t want to,
And make someone else some kind of an unknowing fool?
And make me stay when I should not?
Are you so strong or is all the weakness in me?
Why do you come here, and pretend to be just passing by?
I need to see you - I need to hold you - tightly

Since last month, I decided to get a hair spa and a hair cut on a monthly basis. The hair spa only requires two to three applications of treatments. Last month, I had three. This month, two. It may be that simple, but this month’s visit was the most agonizing experience I had.

I always pick the L’Oreal hair and scalp treatment package from the list (I just don’t know what package specifically, apparently there are tons when I try to search for them in Google) which costs me almost 1,000 pesos. And I have no idea if it’s a good price.

It’s funny because I felt stings all over my head when the guy was applying the treatments on my scalp. He was really focusing on applying the treatment by pressing hard onto my little scalp wounds. That was the first round. The second round doesn’t require effort at all because the treatment stings the moment i feel it on my head. I was trying to play Bejeweled the whole time he was doing this to my poor scalp and I always end up closing the game to control myself from screaming from pain.

The salon guy was curious where I got the little wounds on my scalp because according to him, today, my scalp has no dandruff at all. He can remember my visit from last month because my scalp was a disaster back then (dandruff + little wounds). And then we both figured that I should stop my habit of scratching my head at idle times. I have this weird habit of touching my head when concentrating or watching something or when stressed out. But it causes the little wounds not to heal. I promised him I’d try to stop. That would be good for me and my head on my next visit. No more pain.

If I still can’t control myself, I’ll follow the last guy’s advise to cut off my hands. No hands = dandruff-free and wound-free scalp? Not bad, salon guy. Not bad at all.